Tuesday, March 6, 2012

15) Write a title for this post!

Blooooooog Cooooooonteeeeeeest!
Follow these easy 13 14 15 steps to enter!

1) Follow my blog publicly. And passionately. This is important. I have to believe you mean it for your entry to qualify. I mean I am doing this for you, to make you happy. That's gotta mean something, right?

2) Find three complete strangers and get them to follow my blog publicly. The use of force is authorized.

3) Create ten new blogs to follow me publicly. Bonus entry: don't use the word "cat" in any of them.

4) Create a post extolling the virtues of following me citing evidence of miraculous healings, lottery wins, and finding extra prizes in cereal boxes.

5) Follow me on Twitter and laugh at all my jokes.  I will too know whether or not you actually laugh.  Yes I will. Just do it.

6) Make MySpace more popular than Facebook.  Make me the new Tila Tequila.

7) Explain to me how MySpace is supposed to work.  I never did figure that out, and they've probably changed it.

8) A card would be nice.  It doesn't have to be my birthday or any special occasion or anything.  Just something nice in the mail. I'm just saying.

9) Brush my teeth. Make sure you get behind the back ones - that area is too often neglected.

10) Stop using captcha codes. Do that whether or not you want to win anything.  Do that to avoid being yelled at by a lot of people often. I did, and it improved my life immeasurably.

11) Do everything else I do too.  And don't question it first.  That goes against the spirit of blind compliance, and takes the fun right out of it. If you're going to be like that about it don't even bother. Geez.

12) Comment on this entry. I know, you're thinking I shouldn't have to tell people that, but I'm telling you, if I don't say it weeks from now somebody's going to come crying that they didn't win and I'm going to be all "well you didn't enter" and they're going to be all "well I assumed" and I'll be all "well c'mon, what am I supposed to do with that?" but they'll already be pissed and there's just no reasoning with people at that point, is there?

13) Comment on this entry again.  Dammit, I just know somebody's going to screw this up and it's going to come flying back on me even though I've made it perfectly clear. You don't comment, you don't win.  Got it? So do it twice, and that way... oh hell. I don't even know why I bother. I really don't.

Don't delay! Lucky winners will receive

14) Secure a sponsor to provide a prize for the contest.


TheFrogBag said...

Well, I did #10, but as far as I can tell #3 is completely impossible.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Sometimes when I'm reading lists of ways to get more entries in a blog contest, I stop at the "leave a comment" one because that's all I have the energy to do. And then I have to leave a comment like this one, which really has no substance at all.

Anonymous said...

Brush YOUR teeth?? I can do that. That would be fun.

Anonymous said...

If ever I figure out how Myspace works, I'll be sure to explain it to you. But then I'd have to care enough to find out. I'll just no longer use the word "cat".

OK, that was the last time.

Audubon Ron said...

I only comment on blogs who have me rolling in their roll.

BTW, I'm back at Ducks Mahal.

Deanna said...

I'm so going to win this one! I just noticed number 15. Insane!

Brian Miller said...

if we could def stop witht he captcha codes i might throw in a monetary perk...ok i have a dime...

nick said...

It's a fix. I've been reliably informed that it doesn't matter what we do, the winner will be that bloke who comes to clean the windows. Or his cat.

Gaelyn said...

Done deal! And I better win. ;)

Unknown Mami said...

I would totally do it, but I'm worried about what will happen to the old Tila Tequila.

Unknown Mami said...

Did you hear me laugh at this post?

Jenners said...

Here is my first entry. I'm a GFC follower!

Jenners said...

Here is my second entry.

I am at work on my 10 blogs now. And, as you know, I've been laughing about your Twitter feed.

I don't understand MySpace so I might get disqualified from that.

I have forced people at gunpoint to follow you. For that I am going to jail, which is putting a damper on the tooth brushing thing.

Can I have a third complimentary entry for knowing how Tila Tequila is and feeling shame about it?

You are a genius.

Nicky said...

Did I win?

injaynesworld said...

Damn! You're on fire, T. Clever piece after clever piece. I'm reminded of Rob Reiner's mother in "When Harry Met Sally."

"I'll have what she's having."

Or maybe we could do a Vulcan mind meld.

Hilary said...

So did I win yet?

Hilary said...

How about now?

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Quality blog entertainments delivered in a convenient, electronic format, and widely read by the sexiest, most intelligent, and wittiest people on the internet - all of whom practice exemplary personal hygiene.