Wednesday, March 7, 2012

And for those who hate titles, piping hot tough cookies up your nose!

Ten Reasons Not to Pour
Soup Down Your Pants
an unfavorable post about soup 
for the benefit of my beloved and 
most passionate soup hating readers

1) The crackers itch.

2) What dogs lack in critical thinking skills they make up for in speed when they smell food.

3) Your socks aren't nearly as absorbent as you think.

4) Ants. Charming expression, horrific reality.

5) You probably won't remember to take your cell phone out of your pocket first.

6) Root vegetables retain an alarming amount of heat.

7) You won't be allowed on the good furniture.

8) You won't be allowed on school properties.

9) You might spill and get some on your shoes. 

10) I might be going out on a limb with this one, but isn't it just possible you might have something better to do?

19 comments:

Tabor said...

Very funny. Never thought in such detail about this. I will now be much more careful.

mythopolis said...

Is there a help group for those who can't seem to stop doing this? (A friend of mine wants to know....)

BamaTrav said...

Soup does NOT belong in the "tool" shed. xo

Rita said...

I love soup. But not in my pants. ;)

Gaelyn said...

But what if it's chicken soup for the soul?

Audubon Ron said...

It has been my experience that crock-pots work far better than pants for cooking soup. But hey, it's a free world, do what you want.

Brian Miller said...

and explainging all this to the paramedics while making a fun youtube video would not be that great for your reputation...

I'm With Stupid said...

Boy, #6 is so dang true.

Jay

mythopolis said...

You know, there is a Vietnamese coffee made from coffee beans some creature such as a civet nibbled on. They excrete most of the bean. The excreted beans are gathered and ground up. And there is an unusual taste to these beans that makes them quite expensive. It is called Ca Phe Rang Xay. Delicious.

And this makes me think that you may have stumbled upon something. A chicken soup strained through the pants or underpants. I think we could get rich on this!

Ginger said...

Antz in my pantz lol!

All I can hear is the damn, shit, fuck spewing out of the victim's mouth!!

Jenners said...

I can personally attest to the truth of #2.

Rob K said...

If only you had posted this sooner...

Saimi said...

Thanks for the reminder, I'll take that one off the list of things to do!

T.J. said...

My son seriously, SERIOUSLY just today at lunch my son spilled his soup all over his pants -and the couch. Therefore this post is correct ;)

I am amazed that you signed on to Any Given Moment at craziest of times over there- Thank you for a pick me up during a pretty rough week :) Once things calm down, I look forward to following you too. I also am giving you a shout out in my next post because you deserve sunshine and rainbows too.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Just some of the reasons I don't care much for soup.

mo.stoneskin said...

Number 6 is a pet peeve of mine. Root vegetables simply do not have the right to retain so much heat.

....Petty Witter said...

What good points you make.

I can remember a wedding I went to as a girl ..... not because of the brides dress or anything like that but rather because a waitress spilt soup down the back of my dress which means I can confirm that yeah root vegetables really do retain there heat.

Susie Clevenger said...

This gave me a laugh. Nothing like soup bashing.

Scott said...

"You won't be allowed on school properties"--that's the best!

I think soup was invented by our prehistoric ancestors in order to get something out of every single part of the animal/plant!

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