Friday, February 26, 2010

I suppose you were expecting one of those hippie yippie funky chicken modern titles, eh? Well the hell with ya! This one'll do just fine.

Introspection done. Now I'm into full on obsession. Want a house. Need a house. Must have a house. What did you do today? Looked at houses! What are you doing on the internet? Researching houses! What's for lunch? Houses!

I'm looking forward to having a foundation again. To not having to leave the taps running half the winter so the pipes don't freeze. To not swaying in strong breezes.

And here's something I never thought I'd say: I'm looking forward to having the option of public transportation again. Cars are mighty emblems of freedom only as they whisk you away down highways to distant lands. In the city they're just big, awkward dependents whose needs and expenses must come before your own.

"You're going out to eat? But where will you put me? No no no! Don't you dare leave me on the street! You won't be done eating before the rush hour parking ban comes into effect - they'll take me away from you! Put me in that nice building over there. That one! The one just twenty blocks from the restaurant. Because the other ones are full. Well then take your fancy shmancy ooh-look-at-me-my-shoes-match-my-dress heels off, that's what the old emergency hiking boots in the trunk are for. You do have fourteen dollars in change handy, don't you? What's that? Oh boy! You mean it? Yay! Take-out again! I knew you'd change your mind!"

Seriously. You might as well rely on getting piggyback rides from teenagers for transportation as take a car downtown. I will still keep my car, though. For one thing my old dog's getting a little too bleary eyed for the whole fake-being-a-seeing-eye-dog-so-they-let-you-on-the-bus routine - my conviction to the method acting technique falters when I'm dragged into the path of moving vehicles - but he's still a fun travel partner when he isn't in charge of navigation. I just think it would be nice to be able to sneak off without the big metal need-machine occasionally.

Now I'm not necessarily sure I can get a house. Well, I'll amend that. I know I can get a house, I just don't know if I can get a house and still stay within my financial comfort zone. There are a few reasons I chose to live in a trailer, and while bloom has gone off many of those roses (and turned into venomous, barbed, bloodthirsty thorns) the fact that it's damned affordable living smells as sweetly as it ever did.

On the other hand, if I can work this whole getting a house thing the way I hope I can work this whole getting a house thing, there's a chance I can actually come ahead in the deal. Actually reduce my monthly expenses. I might only have a trailer, but I do have a very nice trailer, and it is in on a very, very nice lot in a very, very popular area.

And I do own it outright. That's the part that burns a bit. I couldn't own a house outright. Yeah, I'd be just as out on my fanny if I failed to pay my lot fees as if I failed to pay a mortgage of course, and of course money toward a mortgage is actually money toward owning something whereas money toward lot fees buys you nothing but limited time, but it still seems preferable to getting the bank involved. Why? Because under these boobs of mine there beats the grizzled heart of a stubborn old man who doesn't want some damn bank gettin' all messed up in my business dadgummit!

But grizzled old men don't like turning on the taps and having nothing come out when it's forty below either. They hate watching their homes relax into a nice comfortable slump every time the ground gets a bit damp too. They like good solid houses cemented into the ground the way nature intended! The kind of good quality craftsmanship you'd be proud to grow feeble and die in!

So yeah. I guess it's enough playtime in the little trailer now. Inner child satisfied. Time to let the inner old fart have a fun day.

47 comments:

Ronda Laveen said...

This is so sadly true that it is hilarious. I hope you swing your deal. I really had no idea cars liked take-out that much. Well, live and learn. No wonder they tend to head toward the to go window.

Tabor said...

Big decision. Be prepared for all the stress of getting there. Nothing quite as nice as the sound of the big front door closing as you are in your own personal solid space, though.

thesunnyabyss said...

did I tell you we are looking at farms now?
hope all works out there for you

Cathryn said...

Good luck in your new venture!

I passed on the Sunshine Award to you--see my blog post yesterday for details!

nick said...

Goodness, you want a house, that's a mighty big change. All I can say is, don't go for anything too big with too huge a mortgage you might default on. And make sure it's somewhere where houses are likely to increase in value and not sink. And then you can start rehearsing all those well-known grumbles from houseowners - this 'hood isn't what it was, there's graffiti everywhere, look at those beer bottles on my front lawn etc.

Eva Gallant said...

I lived in a trailer when I was first married (1967-1973), then in various houses over the years. After my kids got married and moved out, I moved back into a trailer 13 years ago. I love my trailer! Even though I don't own it outright yet, the end of the mortgage is in sight. When I move from here it will be into senior housing (where you don't have to plow the driveway, mow the lawn, and make repairs because they are all done for you!) Good luck with your house hunt. I understand the advantages of a house, but it's not for me. BTW, I thought that was an excellent title!

The Blue Zoo said...

I hope you have fun house shopping! My 5 yr old says our house is old and he wants a new one. So we spent an hour on century21.com last night so he could pick one out. Now if he could just get a job.....

My name is PJ. said...

Your monthly lot rental must be really expensive! Yikes! I'd say a mortgage was preferable for just the reasons you mentioned.

I do enjoy reading you. You're darn funny!

Where the Fur Flies said...

Good luck on the house search! It can be intimidating to commit yourself to a mortgage, but I think you'll be glad you did it.

Megan said...

This last move took us a bit out of the city. I would have stayed downtown if I could. I love the hustle and the bustle. But loft prices have not dropped nearly enough, yet.

Good luck with your search!

Kay said...

a house, in the city? unheard of! :) i ditched the car back in september as i already live downtown and walk absolutley everywhere, that's why zipcar is one of the greatest new inventions. good luck on the house hunt! hope you get something fabulous! :)

buffalodick said...

Come to Michigan! Tons of houses in foreclosure at bargain basement prices! No jobs, though....

JAWhite said...

Um.... I'm really looking forward to getting off this chair as I finish typing this. Stretching my back and walking slowly toward the lawnmower (summer here) I'll pull that damn cord 4-5 times before it starts, then I'll have to watch for about 2 hours as the wife cuts the damn stuff.

Susan said...

Oh, I remember the days of house hunting. I was on Realtor.com so much that they should have had a restraining order on me for stalking, LOL.

♥ Braja said...

Move to Miami.

What?

e said...

This is indeed hilarious. I wish you well house hunting.

I have a small condo that is paid for. Unfortunately, the property developed sinkholes and we all had to move out for months while it was under repair. This entailed gutting my unit and placing rods through the foundation to shore it up, among other things...Simply having a house built upon a foundation isn't what it seems, and sadly, once the insurance money ran out, each of us had to come up with $7700 to cover remaining repairs.

Had I known of the propensity for sinkholes in this area, I'd have looked elsewhere, perhaps on another continent.

Janet said...

As someone who has lived in a trailer and now resides in a real house, I hear ya, loud and clear. It is nice that my current home doesn't sway in the breeze!

Kathy said...

Best of luck in your search!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

LOL my car sadly barely leaves the driveway these days I think it's looking longingly at my neighbor wanting to go with her each day. And you know what she could have her ... LOL

Yeah on getting a house it's fun and work but it's yours :)

linlah said...

Go get 'em old fart 'cause those winter dripping faucets are worse than a noisy refrigerator.

Buckeroomama said...

You are right about mortgages in that at least with them you are paying towards something that you will eventually own. That's what nudged us into buying our own place instead of renting... when what we would be paying for rent was just as much as what our mortgage payments would be. Good luck with house-hunting. :)

Life with Kaishon said...

Hi : ) I saw your comment beneath mine at Unknown Mami's and I came over to say hi! What a great blog title! So fun. And this post was fascinating! Right down to the part where your dog has to pretend to be a seeing eye dog : ). I hope you get your house soon! And I especially hope you do not have to eat one for lunch : )

otin said...

It is nice to have a house, as long as you can deal with all of the upkeep and crap that always seems to break down!

secret agent woman said...

When I got divorced our house was fully paid off and it bit to have to take on a mortgage again. Still, it feels better than paying rent.

But I have to tell you, I'm grieving because I was expecting one of those hippie yippie funky chicken modern titles. Oh, the sorrow!

Fabulous Finds Gal said...

You are hilarious. Good luck with the housing obsession. Not much different than my weight obsession post. Well, other than you are more witty than me! But, seriously, thanks for the great comment. I totally agree. So, right back at ya. Be happy in whatever house you mind yourself in. Well, unless it really sucks. Ha ha...

xo,
Christina

Eternally Distracted said...

Good luck to you - Fingers crossed it all goes well :0)

WhisperingWriter said...

Good luck with finding a house.

Rosidah Abidin said...

I hope you'll find what you are looking for. Have a great week.

tony said...

I Lived & Worked in London for 3 years & Never needed or wished for a Car.I fully agree with you \ althought, Public Transport here in England can be very patchy.

Lady Fi said...

Hope you find a house you can afford and like! Oh, and I won't tell your car about you sneaking off now and then on public transport...

mythopolis said...

Everything is relative, I guess. I loved the old trailer I lived in. I have a SMALL house now, and I do run the taps most of the winter, and the electric bill is killing me, not to mention the property tax, and the leak in the roof. Once I got my house, one of the first things I did was to buy a trailer and stuck it in the back yard. I call it my guest house. So far, I've had no guests, but sometimes I go back there and hang out to remember the old days. My 16 year old truck groans at me when I start it up, and there is no commuter line for miles. I drive mostly roads with wide shoulders so when I do have to ditch the truck, I can ease it off the road. It's all a big pain, and I am an hour away from the city, but I still like hearing roosters crow when I am waking up.

nursemyra said...

all this talk of living in a house reminds me of the Four Yorkshireman

"House? You were lucky to have a house"

http://video.google.com.au/videoplay?docid=2255807183978932387&ei=YJmLS_fmFouOwgP944XtCA&q=four+yorkshiremen

Akelamalu said...

Good luck with the househunting. I use public transport all the time now since I got my free bus pass! LOL

Agy Talks said...

Hey there! Congratulations, I'm passing my first ever award on to you - The Creative Blogger :D! It Made my day, so I want your day to be as wonderful as mine was.
Here You can Take It!

http://agytalks.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html

xoxo, AgyTalks :))

....Petty Witter said...

Feel better now? What a hilarious rant of a post.

JoeyRes said...

I know from personal experience that the struggle of getting a house is well worth it. We just finished a ten month stint of home buying hell.

I hope you find what you're looking for (in as little time as possible)!

Mrsblogalot said...

The fun is definitely in the searching. Something new is exciting! Best of luck !!!!

Dave King said...

I found that a most refreshing read. Great stuff, you deserve all the luck you'll need. Hope you get it. Hope we get some m ore posts like that, too.

Average Terran said...

I would be truly honored if you gave your poetic advice on my blogs of poetry and follow them.

http://thehumanicana.blogspot.com/


http://humanicanagold.blogspot.com/

Bathwater said...

Since the housing market took a crash people have started to re-think the whole owning a house idea.

Renting a house is a nice idea too. Hell I'd be happy to just rent the condo I own right now. But I'd never give up my car for public transportation- but you DO live in Canada.

bernthis said...

I was so freaked out when I bought my home but so glad I did. It is a huge unknown and it's hard knowing how much I owe the bank every month but it is worth it.

blognut said...

Happy House Hunting! Better buy a snow shovel... and a lawn mower... and some patio furniture... and maybe a pool, too.

Conquer The Monkey said...

good luck on finding a house, and I love that you have been using your dog as a seeing eye dog LOL!!!

tricia said...

Good luck tatty! You deserve the best!

I tagged you on my blog! It's a fun one!

Kooky aka Tricia

Nezzy said...

Crossin' my finger and my toes for you. Happy house hunting!!!

God bless and have a wonderful day!!!

sewa mobil said...

Nice information, this really useful for me. There is nothing to argue about.
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it. Thanks.

kanishk said...

Nothing quite as nice as the sound of the big front door closing as you are in your own personal solid space, though.
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