How hard can it be to write a proper title anyway?

I've often heard it suggested that people should have to pass an IQ test before being allowed to have kids. Interestingly enough, though, I've never heard of anybody voluntarily testing themselves or their co-procreators before proceeding with their own seeding. Of course there's a good reason for this. We take our ability to diagnose stupidity in others to be conclusive evidence that we are not suffering from it ourselves. Presumably people who actually are stupid never question anybody else's intelligence. That being the case, it sure makes people calling for IQ tests look stupid. Why go to all that trouble?

"Hey Bob, who do you know that's stupid?"

"Who do I know that's stupid? Geez. Can't think of anybody."

"Bob?"

"Yeah?"

"You're an idiot."

Settled.

It' s not like these conclusions are reached without a reasoning process, though. It's not a conscious one, but it's there. Obviously you can't be stupid if you're capable of the same level of reasoning as smart people are. Your friends are obviously smart people because they agree with all of the same conclusions you arrive at, and you only arrive at the conclusions that make the most sense. To you. Who think them up. Look, let's not lose focus here - the point is that if you were stupid you'd be driving, voting, and rearing children like those people your friends make fun of, and you're not, are you? No, you're doing the opposite. So there you go! No further testing required.

When I was a kid it really used to bother me how water would run off of peoples' chins when they came out of the swimming pool. I was always so embarrassed for them, and so grateful that water didn't run off my chin like that.

Of course it did! It's a good thing I didn't find that out that back then, though. I'd have probably drowned in the shower trying to make my chin the highest point on my head the very next day. Yeah, it bothered me that much. I guess we just assume that we're innocent of the things that bother us so much in other people because it seems logical that we'd be more accepting of traits we have in common. Or perhaps just that we'd be more self aware than that. Doesn't really matter which, seeing as how both assumptions can generally be completely disproven just by standing naked in front of a mirror for about ten seconds anyway.

Tell you what, I'm just going to concede right now. Everyone else is way smarter than I am. They can make the next generation. I'll just find some other way to spend my time and money. I'm sure there's a beach in the tropics somewhere that the cost of living for one independent adult would run roughly the same amount that it would take to raise a few children.

Yes. That would be an excellent place for us stupid people. I can be packed and ready to go in an hour. Great idea, smart people!

Send my love to the kids!