Friday, January 22, 2010

Where did I put that list of titles?

The Advantages of Keeping a Messy House
  • Everything becomes infinitely more interesting when there's housework to avoid.
  • Never having to search for a particular pot, pan or utensil. You know it's in the sink.
  • If nobody can see the floor, nobody can tell you haven't vacuumed.
  • Never having to worry about having enough refreshments on hand in case company drops by, considering there's absolutely no way on earth you're going to let them through that front door anyway.
  • Nothing clean to wear is a perfectly valid excuse to go shopping.
  • You always have available storage space if you never put anything away.
  • Look around. Would you bother trying to rob you? Neither would anybody else. Enjoy your peaceful night's sleep!
  • Not having to consciously prioritize. The important stuff always manages to sift itself to the top of the piles.
  • Crossing a room without stepping over anything, and sitting down without having to move anything first? That kind of thing is exactly how people get lazy.
  • Knowing that when you die, everybody's going to have to find something more substantial to compliment you on than for being a good housekeeper.

64 comments:

injaynesworld said...

I like the way you think!

Tracie said...

The next time my mother comes to visit, I'm posting this on the front door.

cinner said...

LMAO. I needed this when my Mom visited before Christmas. I have 2 dogs, a cat and a bird, on the second day I gave my Mom a lint brush so she would have it with her. Sad thing is I vacumed right before she showed up. Have a great weekend.

Megan said...

You've been peeking in my windows, haven't you? Admit it!!!!

Eva Gallant said...

OMG! I loved this post! I just finally finished taking my Christmas tree down yesterday! lol

linlah said...

My mother-in-law once told me dusting is over rated.

HalfAsstic.com said...

That last one cinched it for me! You make SUCH a good argument! ;-)

BLOGitse said...

hahah, LOL! This is a cool list!
You haven't seen my piles of paper, are you sure?
Piles are good, I know all the papers are in safe. In piles.
Have a great weekend!
ps. it's WO*IMA time if you're interested

http://BLOGitse.blogspot.com

Keith (Mindless Pursuits) said...

Hahaha! So true. I think dust is natures way of proving the futility of cleaning anyway. It's like the law of conservation of energy - like energy, dust can never go away, it just moves to new forms. :)

nick said...

Also of course if everything's just lying around somewhere, it saves all that effort of having to open cupboards, take things out, put them back in, close the cupboards. I mean, life's too short.

Brian Miller said...

that is all the justification i need...smiles.

allycupe said...

This post is AWESOME!

Sarah P said...

Think this needs to get framed and hung in every room of the house.

Or maybe not framed. Maybe just slid into one of those plastic sleeves, so one could just hose off the crumbs and jelly.

Tabor said...

I am a pretty neat housekeeper and really find clutter stressful, but that last line was the best.

{ Persis Shah } said...

wow i never knew the perks of being disorganized! great list SITSa xo.

Berowne said...

>>"Everything becomes infinitely more interesting when there's housework to avoid."<<

If I may quote Benchley, again: "You can do any type of work, and any amount of work, as long as it isn't the work you're supposed to be doing."

otin said...

The only thing that I hate is piled up dirty dishes and laundry, anything else is okay.

CambridgeLady said...

Too true. Very funny :o)

Kitty Moore said...

Love it!

Kitty x

Toni said...

Amen to that! My old bedroom used to be so bad that all I had was a bath from my door to my bed lol

LadyFi said...

Brilliant - you're my kind of gal!

Fire Byrd said...

To quote Quentin Crisp,'the dust doesn't get any worse after the first two years!' Makes sense to me.
x

Sandy said...

Two things.....if it was up to my husband he would never have to search for anything because it would be on either the kitchen counter or the island. Not sure where we'd eat or prepare meals

AND

when I die the kids and grandkids are going to find out exactly what types of degenerates we really are....

Miss Yvonne said...

Good point about not having anything worth stealing. I'm gonna stop locking my front door.

Cathryn said...

I live with a pack-rat extraordinaire. It drives me nuts--bordering on pure insanity. *grins* But I LOVED that last line!

secret agent woman said...

I have spent the better part of the day avoiding cleaning up my house. I need to, but it's just so rainy and gloomy out that I can't seem to find any motivation. SO, I appreciate the list of rationalizations!

blueviolet said...

You are my sister in spirit and uncleanliness! I've found you!!!!

Helene said...

Do I have your permission to post this on my front door? That way I don't have to keep saying, "Oh, and I apologize for the house being a mess" when friends or family come over!!

I loved it...thanks for the laugh and keeping it real!

And thanks for stopping by my blog...hope you'll be back again soon!

Shawn said...

Hmmmmm, never thought about it all this way----makes me feel like there is hope for me....

Just visiting over from SITS....happy Sunday!

Krimmyk said...

Time to print that little gem and post it on the fridge at the hubs eye level.

mac said...

As a single guy, I can really get behind this.

Just don't show it to my son. He does not need any more encouragement. He's quite messy in his own right :-)

Thanks for stopping by my little thing earlier....yeah, it's messy too ;-)

Captain Dumbass said...

I'm down with this, but today I had to vacuum the whole house. The CDC made me do it.

Renee said...

Love it and especially the last one.

xoxoxo

Renee said...

I see you are still up too, is it because you want to be or you can't sleep.

I want to sleep and so am going to try to get round 2 in.

Goodnight God Bless you.

Love Renee xoxo

Buckeroomama said...

That last one is a GEM!

Kimberly said...

I am too OCD to let too much go. I even have my books in ABC order. My DVD's ABC, and music (you guessed it)

The funny thing is my husband is OCD too.

I iron clothes! All the clothes!

OMYWORD! said...

How hilarious and TRUE. The first one about avoiding homework is eggzactly what I do. I hate to clean but suddenly I MUST tidy up, especially when there's other things that I'm avoiding.

Secretia said...

There's never enough time to make it look like a damn dollhouse either!

Theta Mom said...

OMG, hilarious! I especially love the last one! And thanks so much for stopping by Theta Mom! I love new readers! Looking forward to blogging (and chatting on twitter) with you! :)

mo.stoneskin said...

My utensils are in your sink? Dammit I've been looking for them everywhere and now I have to clean them too?!

Kathy said...

Sounds about right!

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL!! Good one!

Suzanne said...

Great post ! Thanks for stopping by at my blog and saying hi. Your comment was lovely :)

Robin said...

My sentiments exactly...Please.. the last thing I want it to say on my epitaph is..."wow, she had a clean house"...besides no one cares about that in the end, that and material things..its all the small stuff that happens between the "obvious" that really counts..!

Traci said...

My favorite is the last. I'd hate to think that "Good housekeeper" would be anywhere on the list of my attributes after death. Of course, there is no concern of that!
:-)

Janie said...

Lol, makes perfect sense to me!

Cocotte said...

It's always good to have a few new excuses, just in case.

Tammie Lee said...

thanks for the chuckle.
I can see you have peace when it comes to your house.

The Mommyologist said...

It is so funny, whenever I straighten things up and clean, I can't find a damn thing. If I leave the piles where they were, then I know exactly where everything is!

Jazz said...

Neatness is highly overrated, it is.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

This was so much fun.

lisleman said...

thanks for sharing a comment on 'a few clowns short'
love that line about your house going faster than others (on the top right side)
I wonder if I should try that idea that moving around and over stuff in the house gives you more exercise.

Unknown Mami said...

I thought I was already following you, but apparently I was only following you on Twitter. Well, I'm following you now and you wanna know why? Because you are hilarious! Yup, it's true.

When I was in college I never did laundry which meant I went underwear shopping all the time.

lissa said...

great list, makes me chuckle, thanks!

found you through Scenes from the back of my eyelids

Mrsblogalot said...

LOFL!!!!!

You are brilliant.

Simply and undeniably BRILLIANT!

I am laminating this post as we speak.

~Melody @ 6 Feet Over~ said...

BWWWAHAHAHAHAHA I'm DYING laughing!
I couldn't even read anything past "You always have available storage space if you never put anything away." because my eyes were tearing up with laughter! lol

Awesome post!

So glad I found ya on SITS...I gots to come back!

~melody~

Ron said...

...If nobody can see the floor, nobody can tell you haven't vacuumed....

That. Was. Brilliant.

Brava!

Mrsbear said...

lol. I cannot argue with any of those.

Visitors need to give advance warning. There's no way I let anyone in on the fly.

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

This is funny because I can relate...lol! Thanks for stopping by Me So Hongry a few weeks back. Well, I'm off to go and stalk your blog.

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

And my charlie Brown christmas tree is still up. Maybe we'll put hearts on it for Valentine's Day...who knows?

Kaylen said...

lol - "that kind of thing is exactly how people get lazy."
LOVE it.

Chrisy said...

oh my....monica fainted!...and the reverse evolution idea...brilliant!...you write so well...so entertaining....forget about the smart books just keep writing your own stuff!

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

Genius! I agree on every point!

Although I am looking forward to my mother ariving this weekend because she'll clean my house. A clean house isn't so bad when you're not the one doing the cleaning!

fraizerbaz said...

You must have seen my house!

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