A lot of people like to joke that the internet was invented for porn. Ah hahaha. You scamps! No. It was of course invented for arguing.
Wolf Spiders and Galapagos Tortoises each clear several hours of their schedule for mommy and daddy alone time. They're still at it long after the average human couple has unlocked the door, brushed their teeth, caught the first half of the late show and dozed off wearing their glasses. The average person just doesn't have the stamina to play that hard very long.
When it comes to arguing, though, our species can definitely go the distance. Many a baby has been born in an office chair because mommy was too busy debating the finer points of cloth vs disposable diapers in the forum thread she started the same day she peed on the stick. It's not that internet arguments go on for a long time, it's that they never end at all.
Some arguments get closed by moderators. Some arguments are abandoned when better arguments spring up somewhere else. No internet argument, however, is ever truly over. They wait. They incubate. They migrate. First to twitter. Then to the blog. Then back to the forums and the infectious cycle is complete. Less phoenix from a flame than forest fire from a cigarette butt, they rise again to consume all attention spans in their paths. A lot of people do their best to avoid them, but sometimes you don't even know you're in one until the marshmallow's melted off your stick and you can smell your burning hair. That's why it's so important to learn the warning signs:
If it's addressed specifically to you and it doesn't rhyme, odds are you're being argued at.
Uh oh. Now you're in trouble.
Are you going to sit there and take that?
Surely the computer wouldn't allow them to type it in ALL CAPS if it WASN'T TRUE, now would it?
Maturity level estimations:
I don't know what you said, but you clearly struck a nerve there. Also you just might be debating Pee Wee Herman.
Okay they're officially running out of things to say.
I have more important things to do:
Well you won that one, but again, it's never really over. They'll be back in another thread.
And so will you.
1 hour ago