Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Some titles are better left unwritten.

Do-Over!

- That job interview where I yawned.

- Accelerating to get out of the way of the cop who, it turns out, did not want to get past me, but instead had been trying to pull me over. For speeding.

- Clicking on that link in that e-mail that really did look like it had been sent by a friend of mine. It had not been sent by a friend of mine.

- Deciding that the best course of action to take when it starts to get dark on an unfamiliar mountain trail is to invent a shortcut.

- That word I said into an open mic at that wedding.

- That open bar at that wedding.

- Forgetting that owls can turn their heads completely around when I was holding one while wearing a very thin shirt. And an unpadded bra.

- Not taking the dog seriously about needing to go outside.

- Half the things I did to my hair in my twenties.

- Everything I did to my waistline in my thirties.

- Puberty.

75 comments:

Audubon Ron said...

The date I had with the Cooper twins.

Let me have that one back, oh please, just one more time.

Hilary said...

You never fail to make me laugh

Ginger said...

Talking before you think.....

Approaching that cute looking 150 pound dog with my hands stretched out saying 'Hi beautiif....

GutsyWriter said...

Yes, I think we all have titles we'd like to do over, or comments I'd left when tired I regretted.

Mrsbear said...

Hindsight.

Although I think a single time around with puberty would suffice for me.

Eva Gallant said...

You cracked me up with the police officer one, especially! That is so something that would happen to me!

Brian Miller said...

i interviewed a guy that had a bad gass problem...he did not get the job...

hmm...do overs...

Rachel said...

Eek! The cop one - got me there. At least you didn't have a cop totally ingore you and ask for your phone number four times while you reply, "I'm deaf, I'm deaf, I'm deaf, I'm DEAF, SIR".

And the yawn... still giggling about that!

ladyfi said...

LOL - especially about the owl...

Sandra said...

Ok, I loved this! I was nodding my head the whole time: yup, puberty, yup, doing bad stuff to my hair...I've never outrun a cop though.

TheFrogBag said...

Yes... 7,8, and 11 especially! And, I might add: forgetting sea lions can do their own version of that owl trick!

Antares Cryptos said...

The thing I just ate.

nursemyra said...

I could have done without this experience.....

http://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2010/09/19/healthy-strokes/

The Blue Zoo said...

haha! My sister in law did that once! A car kept getting right on her tail, so she kept speeding up. Turns out it was a cop. lol

nick said...

But that mountain shortcut you chose was a stroke of good fortune. It was the one that went along the sheep path, not the one that ended at the 2000-foot sheer drop.

Buckeroomama said...

SO tempted to write "What a hoot" on the owl thing. Okay, redo!

mythopolis said...

OOOh.. those are good!..or bad, depending on how you look at it. I can only think of a few.

Two roads diverged in the woods, and my motorcycle hit the tree in the middle.

Getting a tattoo of that girl I never saw again after that night.

Telling the cop, after getting caught going the wrong way on a one-way street, "I guess I was following the wrong arrows." Which led to the say-the-alphabet-backwards test, the follow-my-finger test, the stand-on-one leg-test, the walk-the line test, and a night in county jail.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Are their photos of the tragic owl incident?

Deborah said...

You're a DELIGHT to read! :o)

The Hog said...

Giving a lift to a little old lady who then proceeded to piss on my car seat!

frigginloon said...

Good grief, I had a job interview with someone I had sacked a few years before.NO, I didn't get it!!!!

haphazardlife said...

I can't even count them...

- Jazz

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

So true!

Deanna said...

The gas pump hose I forgot to remove from my tank after pumping gas.

I look forward to every one of your wide smile inspiring posts!

Gaelyn said...

Dating a used car salesman to (not) get a better car deal and ending up with crabs instead.

Captain Dumbass said...

Inventing trails on mountain sides in the dark, glad I lived through that.

Kev D. said...

-One water bottle is enough for a four hour hike.

randine said...

Pushing my four year old daughter on the swing so high that she said she felt like she had to puke, and then picking her up to console her, she buried her head into my chest, and the next thing I knew my chest was full of slimy warmish chunks. And we were three blocks from home and there were no bathrooms or sinks or anything anwywhere and it was scortching hot.

Serving my thirteen year old meatballs for supper...Gratititous "ball" jokes for the rest of the evening.

Rita said...

You always make me laugh! We all have those do-over moments...and all you can do is laugh, I guess. ;)

Rob K said...

Great list--if only life had a rewind button...

blueviolet said...

I wish I had been a fly on the wall at that wedding!

Mrs.Mayhem said...

I'm with on the one about the hair (only my hair, not yours).

Nari said...

That was priceless. You can't trust owls OR open bars at weddings...and don't even get me going on puberty.

All of these things have been placed in our paths as soldiers of mayhem...so we battle on!

Saimi said...

Oh dear, sounds like we have a lot in common...This could have been my post...except the open bar one, HA!

Deidre said...

When did you get to hold an owl? was it soft? I like owls.

Al said...

Too funny!

Stickup Artist said...

I love your sense of humor. And I have been here a time or two - Deciding that the best course of action to take when it starts to get dark on an unfamiliar mountain trail is to invent a shortcut.

sheila said...

lol, I can relate to a great many of these!

Duncanr said...

not taking the dogs seriously - yup, done that

Duncanr said...

Left all our clothes at a Laundromat for a ‘service wash’ without checking the opening hours. Returned Saturday afternoon to collect clean clothes to find shop shut a lunchtime and not due to open till following Monday, leaving me, fed up wife, and two brattish kids with only the clothes we were wearing. We were on holiday at the time and had to leave town that day to move on to our next destination, so had no alternative but to stick a note through the door with our name and address and some money asking the proprietor to mail our clean clothes on to our home address, then buy whole new set of clothes to see the 4 of us through the remaining 7 days of our holiday

BlackLOG said...

Forgetting that owls can turn their heads completely around when I was holding one while wearing a very thin shirt. And an unpadded bra.
Wow, who would have guessed that an owl needed to wear a very thin shirt and an unpadded bra inorder to turn their heads around

Not taking the dog seriously about needing to go outside.
I have a vision of the dog rubbing your nose in it and saying "I told you, you needed to go outside"

My Do-Over would probably be not being so sarky on my first visit...

or at least tick the anonymous box

P.S I enjoyed the post, you can blame my terrible sense of humour on Lesly Nielson

secret agent woman said...

Yeah, too bad we don't really get do-overs.

(In a nice bit of synchronicity, I went with a post that was better left unwritten.)

BamaTrav said...

What's a cherry bomb??

Jeanie said...

Been there, done that.....except for maybe the owl thing.

Al Penwasser said...

When my first wife suggested we get married, replying "Sure, why not? There's nothing good on TV."

wendy said...

HEY---Another Albertan. HI and thanks for visiting my blog. I grew up in Calgary, but left at 17.....lived the better part of my life in the states.

every one of those things made me GIGGLE. very cute.

hope to hear from you again.
and I am sick to death of this cold

wendy said...

interesting to go through your comments and SEE who you KNOW that I KNOW (bloggy speaking)

Baboo Blacksnake said...

Damn, this blog is blacker than ME !

anthonynorth said...

Some titles tell a story in themselves. Intriguing.

David said...

*heh* I recognize myself in some of those...

Bee's Blog said...

On seeing my parish priest in his black clerics with dog collar instead of his customary white habit: "Oh he looks different. I've never seen him dressed before". Very loudly in front of a group of elderly ladies i.e. 'pillars of the church'.!

What I Did Today said...

Bwahahahahaha!!! Wait. That owl one. Did that really happen to you????

Jenners said...

Ok ... now I think I'm developing a fear of owls. Yep ... its official. I'm afraid of owls now because of you.

And I'm very much regretting that I didn't take that "little change in metabolism" more seriously when I first noticed it. Things would be easier (and about 35 pounds lighter) now.

alonewithcats said...

I turned 30 a few months ago, and my waistline is not enjoying it. Not enjoying it at all.

Nicky said...

I'd really like to take back the hair I had in the 80s. Or at least be able to apologize to all the people who at some point or another sat behind me in class, the movies, concerts etc.

LadyCat said...

Those are great! I can relate to the hair mistakes...YIKES! I've also made a couple of interview bloopers, that I still cringe about : )

Shrinky said...

My first two fiancee's kinda' spring to mind (cringe).. and I'm taking the fifth on everything else!

Another pure delight of a post, you never disappoint (still chuckling).

Diana said...

The owl one was funny! We all have things we'd like to do over! I have LOTS and LOTS! Love Di ♥

Myya said...

Thanks for visiting me. Your blog is fun! LOVE this list, I think I've needed to DO OVER quite a few of those as well :)

Shannon said...

Haha, great list! Now you got me thinking of certain instances I wish I'd forgotten...

I just discovered your blog. I'm your newest follower. Feel free to check out my blog as well:

ShanimalCrackers.blogspot.com

Cinner said...

Every time I visit I think where have I been. you are so funny girlfriend. that is quite a list, and well the wedding sounds like it was fun. the owl thing could freak me out. always a pleasure. take care, think of you often.

linlah said...

Actually you get a do over on puberty, it's called menopause.

Just telling it like it is said...

About getting a ticket: This is why I offer to flash the cop...and I just might let him fondle them

....Petty Witter said...

Ouch, the owl incident had to hurt.

Never mind everything you did to your hair, what about the clothes? I now I shudder when I think of my wardrobe then.

Kernut the Blond said...

AHAHAA! But I really think you should write some of those... please?

injaynesworld said...

Can I just start at birth?

Snappy Di said...

HA.... now why didn't that cop tell you what he wanted you to do! LOL

DI

Gaston Studio said...

Fantastic list of do overs; mine would be similar.

Congrats on POTW!

Out on the prairie said...

A good list, and it raised thoughts of a few more.

outoftheextraordinary said...

Bwa-ha-ha!!! That is hilarious. You are such a witty person!

Have an Extraordinary Day!

Susan in the Boonies said...

So good! Congratulations on your post of the week! :-D

NotaSupermom said...

That time I tucked my skirt into my tights.

You're very funny! Found you through the lovely Hilary's blog.

CherylK said...

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time! I'm forwarding the link to my sisters...and my kids...and my friends...and...

Loved reading the comments, too. And congrats on the POTW award. Hilary sure does know how to pick 'em!

Janie said...

Ha! A great list of what we wish could be do-overs.

Nicole said...

You always crack me up :D!

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