Saturday, January 8, 2011

The title of this entry is "Eggplant" - I know you know what I'm saying there.

2011 Resolutions: Update, Week 1

1) Be more popular!
  • poster campaign underway
  • public decency laws reviewed
  • fines paid
2) Get more vitamins!
  • achieved!
  • digestive tolerance of Flintstones Chewables @ 3/4 bottle per day
3) Get more exercise!
  • replaced all furniture with treadmills
  • sprained both ankles eating soup
  • burned 150 calories dragging self to phone!
4) Control the weather with my mind!
  • achieved!
  • skeptics remain
5) Master a foreign language!
  • pending (all languages investigated so far too "wordy")
6) Build an addition on to house!
  • plans drawn up
  • stalled at permit stage
  • researching precedent for alien craft landing pads
7) Start a family!
  • achieved?
  • followed directions on kit, still no sign of monkeys in tank
  • microwaving does not appear to have accelerated evolution as hoped
8) Be shinier!
  • achieved! (with restricted breathing)
9) Redecorate!
  • in progress
  • re-thinking "candy land" theme on veterinarian's recommendation
10) Start referring to self in third person!
  • limited success
  • have written name on back of hand to avoid further embarrassment

48 comments:

Super Happy Girl said...

My hat off to you as I have not accomplished anything so far this year and look at you, you have achieved about...a lot! Much more than I even dare dream.

Gaelyn said...

Looks like you're workin' it.

I resolved to work less and that's not working at all.

Rita said...

You give great giggle, lady! :):)

Oh and I agree--most foreign languages are entirely too wordy. ;)

Megan said...

Monkeys may be overrated, however I do advise you to try and get them anyway.

As often as is comfortable.

Hilary said...

The sea monkeys cracked me up.. actually most of this did. You're hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.

Buckeroomama said...

Do you just sit there and these thoughts just flow through you quite naturally? Do you work at it?

Whatever, girl, you crack me up!

Brian Miller said...

lol. send me a poster...smiles.

mythopolis said...

I'm sorry, I cannot comment on this post, because I just made a big mess. I was drinking my coffee, and reading your resolutions when I started laughing with a mouthful of coffee, and now it is splattered all over my computer table. I must resolve this year not to drink coffee or anything else while reading your blogs!

Audubon Ron said...

#8. Be shinier. Hmm. Well, you're starting the new year more "brilliant". If the monkeys don't work, I know this guy...

Gen said...

:)

Eva Gallant said...

That was hilarious! Thanks so much for the belly laughs this morning!

BLOGitse said...

I want to have a poster! :)

Myrna R. said...

I love your perseverence thus far. I'm still trying to start my resolutions. My first one is to conquer procrastination.

Thanks for the smile you put on my face.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I LOVE IT! Great post!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

You should consider a triops family. They are big and creepy but only live a month to three.

MAB Jewelry said...

Does obscenity count as a new language? I might be able to help you out.

Jocelyn said...

You so tickle me, and I pride myself on hiding my tickle bone.

The Sea Monkeys line got a true out loud snort.

Must stop typing now, as weird mucus covers my keyboard.

Cocotte said...

I've actually been considering chewable vitamins myself. If they taste like candy, will I actually take them? That is the question.

Just telling it like it is said...

Oh you clever girl...sounds like I got some catching up to do since I haven't even thought of a list of New Years Resolutions!

Brandy Rose said...

I do the Flinstones vitamins because I have a gag reflex and can't swallow the big pills.

Diana said...

Very cute and clever! Wish I had your imagination! Love Di ♥

Cathryn said...

Love this! Please make snow come to our corner of New Mexico so I can have drinking water in the near future and a garden this summer. :D

oO(Laughing my #$%* off!)Oo

ladyfi said...

Oh, it's good to have you back! Hope you're enjoying your shiny home... or should that be: hope she's enjoying her shiny home.

Or maybe that third person thing only means you referring to yourself as she?

nursemyra said...

Damn those wordy languages - why DO they have to be so hard?

rachelslessonslearned said...

#4 is the best! also, pics or it didnt happen. (/skeptic)

...louciao... said...

Eggplant. Yes. I totally get it.

Gaston Studio said...

Wow, really ambitious!

blueviolet said...

Your goals are quite lofty! ;)

Cloudia said...

So glad we have blog-met!

Yours is a delight. . .



Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

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<°)}}><

secret agent woman said...

Shinier. Now there's a worthy goal.

(I switched to gummy vitamins and never looked back.)

carma said...

Good lord, you dove right in are are tackling so many things already with but 51 more weeks to go. Once you achieve popularity, please clue me in with some tips I can use to achieve my own....

Liza Ursu said...

This list is so up my alley.
In fits of desperation for sugar, I haved resorted to chewable vitamin c.
#10 reminds me of The Jimmy episode from Seinfeld.

Happy New Year to you.

Snuggle Wasteland said...

Bwahahaha!!! Is sign language too wordy for you?

sweffling said...

Don't you think "Aubergine" has a more elevated air as a title? Love the blog, and love the piggies in the background:)

Nicole said...

Quite enjoying the blog.

Resolution list is priceless! :)

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

You're really doing it, especially since January isn't even half over.

Also, doesn't replacing all furniture with treadmills count as redecorating?

Two birds with one stone there lady!

Joanna Jenkins said...

:-)
Stopping by to say congrats on your POTW from Hilary.
High Five and Happy New Year, jj

urbandon (Don Pezzano) said...

New visitor here....obviously I'm not in Kansas anymore.

Sandi McBride said...

Can't say as I've ever met a resolution I couldn't break. Like your initiative.
Sandi

Tabor said...

Congrats on your POTW...keep working on those resolutions.

Brian Miller said...

spinning back through to say congrats on the potw...

Out on the prairie said...

It is nice to see you taking everything in stride.

kcinnova said...

"still no sign of monkeys" ROTFL

Congrats on your POTW! Hilary was right, I did indeed enjoy this post.

Treadmills said...

How funny the post is. "Control weather with mind", how did you do that? teach me please.

ethelmaepotter! said...

What fun! I love "re-thinking candy land theme on veterinarian's recommendation" and "skeptics remain."
May I ask a small favor, as I am not a skeptic? Would you please control the weather for Pleasant View, Tennessee for the remainder of the winter? I don't mind a little snow on the weekends, but this driving in the stuff to get to work is working on my last nerve.
Thank you.

Travel Nurse Extraordinaire said...

Funny stuff! Congrats on POTW!

CherylK said...

First of all, congrats on POTW! I can absolutely see why Hilary chose this post...funnnnny!

Secondly...so are you only responsible for the weather where you are? Because if you're responsible for the mountains of snow we have here, I want you to know I am NOT pleased.

But I forgive you because you have a great blog.

Emmy said...

Best resolutions list ever!

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