Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Did you actually see me write this title? No? Then you can't actually prove I did, can you?

Raise Your Hand!

Bought yourself Valentine's Candy. On sale. On February 15th.

Say the same things about current music that your parents said about your music.

Defied the five second rule.

Literally sat in the dark pretending not to be home until they went away.

Use "I can't afford it" as a euphemism for "I'd rather spend the money on myself".

Are the only person on the road at any given time who knows how to drive.

Did/drank/ate it knowing full well it was going to make you vomit.

Take lots of pennies. Have never, ever left a penny.

Don't believe in astrology, do check your horoscope.

Dress out of the laundry hamper.

Play funhouse when people leave their prescription lenses unattended.

Took two when it clearly said take one.

Use your sleeve.

57 comments:

Rhymetime(aka Pat) said...

hahaha very funny read, now I'll plant the rhyming seed.
Yes I've done most if not all of those, some better than the pros.
So I can't prove you typed the title, while then what were you doing being idle?
Maybe you used a magic spell, won't you tell?
I'll take two if you do not and then if I get caught.
I'll blame it all on you and run away before they sue.
The cat will be back, count on it Jack.
Oh that's not your name, aren't I lame?

Brian Miller said...

ok i will fess to a few of those...i kinda like the music...well some of it...but i am turning the lights off now until you go away...lol

Rita said...

Always fun to read!! :):)

Diana said...

Wow it's amazing how many of those I've actually done! How did you know?
Love Di ♥

Raven said...

I'll admit to doing most of those.

I like current music as long as it's hard, fast and loud. I hate my daughter's music cuz she listens to pop and hip hop. It makes me crazy.

I am the only person on the road who knows how to drive, thank you very much. ;)

The five second rule is more of a guideline than a rule.

The only time I ever buy Valentine's candy is when it's 75% off.

I have left a penny before. Once.

If I didn't dress out of the laundry hamper I'd be naked 85% of the time!

That was fun, thanks!

Kim said...

Umm, All of the above :)

nick said...

What shameful secrets we all hide while we pretend to be normal, sensible people. And how about extolling your healthy, organic, fairtrade food choices while you look forward to a giant takeaway pizza and chips?

haphazardlife said...

Done 7. You'll never make me admit which ones.

Jazz

Kate said...

Anyone driving faster than me is a maniacal speed demon and should be outlawed from the road. I don't understand Justice Beaver, either.

Eva Gallant said...

Guilty! on all counts!

Helen said...

guilty on most of them, but I'm feeling kind of naive to admit that I have no idea what 'left a penny' mean. Help?

Deborah said...

How did you know? LOL and LOL again!

Hilary said...

You never ever fail to make me laugh. That's such a gift. Love the funhouse concept.

HalfAsstic.com said...

OMG! It's like we grew up together! STOP SPYING ON ME! Heh!
Actually I have nailed everyone of those except the eating or drinking something that I knew would make me vomit. I have to be nearly dead to vomit. Cast iron stomach-that's me.
I haven't been here in much too long! Be Back Soon!

Miss Yvonne said...

I totally put my hand in the air. And waved it like I just don't care.

mythopolis said...

Ah, yes....these are like the least common denominators of mass culture! Actually, however, I do leave pennies. It's the least I can do for humanity, and besides, I can write it off on my taxes as 'charitable donations'.

Also, as many a guy could tell you, the laundry basket has levels of dirtiness. Some things are more dirty than others. Or to put it more positively, the less dirty things are more clean. Also, a spray can of fabric freshener is a lot cheaper and less time consuming than a trip to the laundromat!

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

My hand is raised!

BamaTrav said...

I just keep rollin blunts.

Deidre said...

Wait we're not supposed to dress out of the laundry hamper? CRAP.

TheFrogBag said...

Ha! Yup... Except the 2nd one. I only say that stuff about bad current music. The good stuff gets a pass! Number 4, though? Um... No comment!

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

How did you know? Took a fleecy thing out of the hamper a little while ago and poured myself another glass of wine.

Rachel said...

Snorted at the sitting in the dark until they go away part. Brings a whole new perspective to it when you lump it with my deafness and people just pound on the dang door and assume you can't hear it, ha ha

Thanks for the laughs!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

LOL I don't say that about my kids' music (which I love). I say that about my husband's. God, the guy could at least join this century. ;)

Linda Medrano said...

This is hysterical. Not that I did any of those bad things of course!

Al Penwasser said...

Guilty as charged.
I have my hand up. When can I put it down? I need to wipe my nose on my sleeve.

Saimi said...

Are you kidding me, I defy the five second rule all the time!

Jenners said...

I thought it was the three second rule.

And I'll raise my hand for about half of these.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Sleeve, shirt, pants....whatever. It's all good;-)

Nicole said...

Hand is up---to pull the shades. Are you peeking in my window? That could be my list, easy.

Nicole said...

Oh, guilty of almost all. :)

Gaelyn said...

Both hands up in the air, jumping up and down.

Tamara said...

The five second rule? I thought it was 30-seconds! Boarding school will do that to you.

laura b. said...

Copping to 2/3 of those. People who do the other 1/3 are just wrong. haha! :-)

pattypunker said...

i don't pick up pennies anymore but a quarter i can always use for the parking meter at the train.

take 1? that's for pussies. (i'm channeling my inner charlie sheen openly now)

pattypunker said...

ps: i'm totally hanging out in my office because i want to avoid riding the train with this woman who happens to be waiting for the elevator. dayum if she isn't boring as shit and robs me of social media time when i get stuck riding with her.

Jeanie said...

My arm is starting to hurt from holding my hand in the air.

ShanimalCrackers.blogspot.com said...

Wow, I feel so honored knowing that you dedicated and wrote a whole post about ME! :)

sheila said...

lol, I'll admit to many. ha ha aha, you are a riot, thanks for the chuckles today!

Miss Angie said...

LOL, too true!

Vicki Lane said...

Five second rule? I thought it was five minutes.

gayle said...

Yes hmmm I have but don't tell!!

Nicky said...

I didn't do any of those things either. Ever. Today.

Mary said...

hahaha these are hilarious. I pretty much never answer my door if I'm not expecting anyone. Once I even feigned sleeping just in case they looked through my (closed) blinds.

Ginger said...

Haha
Took two when it clearly said take one. NEVER :)

Use your sleeve. SOMETIMES. more hygienic than my palm :(

Meri said...

Hmmm, the 13 second rule? two day rule? haha

ladyfi said...

Highly amusing! How do you know our deepest secrets?

nursemyra said...

I've only done three. Damn, I'm much more of a goody two shoes than I thought

Food, Fun and Life in the Charente said...

LOL, hands in the air. Thanks for visiting my blog it was good to 'meet' you. Hope you will be back. Take care. Diane

Mother Mayhem said...

BWAHAHA. Guilty.

*Slinking away in shame*

Rob K said...

All right, I confess, I do check my horoscope. Not that I believe in that stuff, but...

Buckeroomama said...

Me! But I'm not telling which one I'm owning up to.

secret agent woman said...

Many of them but this one, more times than I can count:
Literally sat in the dark pretending not to be home until they went away.

CherylK said...

Hmmm...I'm guilty on more than one count, here. Thank you for posting what most of us don't have the nerve to admit - ha!

What I Did Today said...

:D Yes to all of the above. Except the pennies. I kinda didn't get that one so it probably doesn't apply...

injaynesworld said...

Five seconds? Shit. All these years I thought it was five minutes.

Kernut the Blond said...

My hand was up for all until the did it/drank it/ate it, and all items following.

It's been along time since I did something I knew would make me vomit, unless of course, you count some men I've dated recently. Then I'd have to raise my hand for that one.

mel said...

I raise my hand on all but the pennies. I have a hatred for pennies and I have no idea why! I avoid them like the plague.

I love the titles on this blog, and how did I ever blog for this long and miss yours?

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