Monday, December 14, 2009

A title? You shouldn't have!

Aaah presents from men. I just received a festively wrapped box from my boyfriend containing:

- Jumper cables (because he knew I didn't have any and that worried him)
- Long burning emergency candles (because he wasn't confident that the tea lights I do have in my car would keep me alive as effectively in -40 temperatures)
- Super insulated highly durable work gloves (because I was speculating that I probably haven't owned a decent pair of warm gloves since my mother stopped dressing me)
- Survival blanket (because I both drive and hike to silly remote places all by myself, and if you're catching on to the developing theme at all here it's obvious to you by now that I'd never think to buy something like that for myself, only to very sagely point out what a good idea they are when other people buy them)

And...

...as lovely and elegant a pair of driving gloves a person could ask for, because I'd noted in passing that my best pair were starting to show some signs of wear.

So not only does the guy worry about me when I'm out mucking around on my own in the cold, but evidently he even listens to every word I say when I blather on about my clothes.

I think he likes me.

I think I like him too.

Greetings from the other side of sanity!

So Pseudonymous High School Teacher was wondering just what kind of performance I'm involved in, and for good reason: I avoid trying to describe what I do for a living like the plague. I'm proud of what I do - I've been getting paid to do it for over eight years and people regularly offer to do my job for free, so I figure I probably don't suck at it - but damn it is not easy to explain.

Here's what we're going to do, then. I'll give you a mash of relevant words, and you're all free to arrange them as it amuses you to imagine me:

Comedy Interaction Production Games Administration Costumes Actors Venues Clients Props Liason Contracts Mystery Management Presentation Audio/Visual Wigs Character

I think the only thing missing from that list is Chief Freaker Outer, because I couldn't figure out if that actually should be three words or just one long hyphenated one, but yeah. I'm in charge of that, too.

That's what I do for a living.

Thank you everyone, very sincerely, for your wonderful words of encouragement this past weekend. My slobber is very literally knocked indeed. I woke up on Sunday morning and saw the dog about to trip over a cord. I went to shout "Careful!" and managed only a quiet "eh uh". That did not convey my sentiment effectively at all. Luckily, though, the humidifier was only half full when it dumped it's contents all over the carpet, and my little dog Allison's still spry enough at 16 to land on her feet when 100 tumbling pounds of canine flesh upend the basket she's sleeping in, so happy ending there. I still sound like Janice Joplin on a bad phone connection, but I've at least regained enough ability to conduct the essential operations of life such as ordering pizza and telling the dog to spit the cat out.

Pizza. Hey. I'm a genius.

Gotta go.

No wait! Also!

Mwah Mwah Mwah and big belated thank you to Jeanne at The Raisin Chronicles for this:



She's fabulous, and very much in my thoughts today.

Okay now I'm done. I've got a ton of blogs to catch up with!

43 comments:

Ashley said...

Are you a clown?! Cuz that would be AWESOME.

Eva Gallant said...

Sounds like interactive dinner theater... whatever it is, I'm sure you're good at it!

tattytiara said...

Actually no I'm not a clown, and I have nothing to do with clowns, and I don't anticipate that I ever will deal with clowns because the guy I work for... is not good with clowns.

dogimo said...

Nice work if you can get it.

tattytiara said...

And thank you, Eva. My company doesn't do food in any way shape or form, but a lot of what we do is probably at least a close cousin to dinner theatre.

dogimo said...

OK, now I have to actually make a guess:

You rob banks.

tattytiara said...

See what I mean? Three comments and I've already gotten everything from clown, to dinner theatre, to bank robber. It would probably be easier for everyone if I just lied and said I was an accountant, but I already live in mortal fear of being asked a math question so that's out.

cinner said...

Well I think you are a Visual Specialist to do with the Theatres. or an EX BANK ROBBER. oR A Teacher, I have much confussion now! Take care.

Brian Miller said...

hehe. clown. its obvious that you are a meteorologist...the weather man just entertains right? lol. obviously hubs wants to take care of you, especially in any weather this time of year...

f1trey said...

love the job description!!!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

I'm laughing at the kit your boyfriend bought for your car, yes obviously he wants you to be fully prepared in the case of an emergency. Can't get more caring than that! Congratulations on your award too! And, nope,not even going to venture a guess at what you do for a living. Okay, maybe I'll say something in the game show business?

Traci said...

First off, it definitely sounds like a true case of "like". Big "like". -)

Second, congratulations on your well-deserved award.

Now as an actress, I think I have a clue as to what you do and I'm glad that it doesn't include clowns (I don't like clowns much).

Finally, thanks for stopping by my blog and the kind words.

JenJen said...

Great post...great boyfriend....he almost lost me and then you presented the smashing gloves and voila!

:)

injaynesworld said...

You found a man who listens! Can we clone him? Please! Please! Can we?!

otin said...

That is one hell of a list of job descriptions. Is there anything that you don't have to do.

gayle said...

Wow what an awesome boyfriend you have...that really listens to you.What did you get him?

nitebyrd said...

Thank GODS! you're not a clown! Clowns are Satan's minions.

Whatever you do, it sure sounds like a great job!

Congrats on the award!

blueviolet said...

Are you some kind of entertainment coordinator booking talent for something or other?

blognut said...

Do you do those group mystery thingy presentations at meetings and stuff? Where you get all these people to participate and act all silly in front of their co-workers? And you always get some yutz who thinks he knows everything trying to take over the whole show and he's not even funny. But then the quiet lady that normally doesn't speak to anyone ends up being all funny and making everyone laugh... and then they all worry because they never talked to her before and now they kinda like her but they don't know what to do about it?

Am I close?

Buckeroomama said...

I think what he gave you was even sweeter than if he'd just given you a bunch of roses. :) (See, that's why the only time I ever received flowers from my husband was one Valentine's Day when we first stated dating... he caught on fast that I much prefer practical stuff.)

tattytiara said...

Oh damn, blognut, you're good. That's as close as dammit is to swearing to nailing it! We're a little more diverse in what and where we perform, but you sound intimately familiar with our audiences indeed.

e said...

Hello,

You certainly have an interesting job, if Blognut is close, a wonderful and attentive companion, people who love you and give you deserved awards for a great blog, and the generosity to share comments with others.

Thanks for stopping at my blog today. I'll return and I hope the same is true for you.

♥ Braja said...

So YOU'RE the door to door stripper and part time Walmart icecream lady i've been hearing about

LadyFi said...

I'm thinking of Jeanne also... so tragic.

Your job sounds wonderful - especially the freaking out bit! ;-)

Toni said...

If you were an accountant, it would sound so boring so just enjoy us guessing lol.
And isn't it amazing that sometimes (just sometimes though not all the time) that men can surprise us with their sincerity?!

Kate said...

Love the job desciptions! Sounds very intriguing.

Kate xx

http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

carma said...

not to sound cliche - but dude seems like a "keeper" And could your job be any more awesome!!

Clowns are really not as sinister as everyone is making them out to be ;-) although my son takes great offense if anyone asks him if he is a clown since he juggles

JennyMac said...

Chief Freaker Outer...someone in our family has that job training too. haha.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

You're a greeter for Star Trek conventions. Is that it? Oh, wait, You said there are costumes, so, that's out. Wait - I'll think of another one. Just give me a minute.

Joy said...

Jumper cables? It must be LUUUUUV.

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in from SITS to say hi!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Congrats on finding a man that listens! :) A rarity in any city!

lemonologie said...

Wow, a man that listens! Sounds like a keeper!

Thanks for visiting me on my SITS day the other week!

Holly said...

It sounds to me like you've found a pretty decent dude and sadly, that's really hard to find in my experience. I've got one too, and I'm not letting him go for nothin'! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Unknown Mami said...

Do you do Imprplystioov Mystery Dinner Theater?

Heidi said...

Awesome gifts! Sounds like what my husband would give me. Iv'e already hinted about my socks being holey!
Not going to guess your job, because blognut was close, but seriously sounds a lot more fun than nursing.

Queenie Jeannie said...

FUNNY!! I love reading your posts!!

secret agent woman said...

I think that is an incredibly thought ful and even, in its own way, romantic.

Paula said...

LOL at your boyfriend's emergency pack- I think its super adorable and practical.

Congratulations on your award!

big hair envy said...

Your man sounds like a great catch!! I tried to convince my man that I needed a new pair of slippers, but he was having none of that:(

I believe the correct spelling is Chief Freaker-Outer. I dabble in that profession as well;)

linlah said...

Actors Venuess Mystery Client Liason Audi/Visual Wigs Charater Management Games Production Props Costume Comedy Interaction Administration

Oh that was har but probably not as haard as your job.

Kamana said...

that is so true about men and present giving! thanks for stopping by. hope to see more of you in the next year!

Lisa said...

Great post. You have a gift with writing.

About Me

My photo
Alberta, Canada
Quality blog entertainments delivered in a convenient, electronic format, and widely read by the sexiest, most intelligent, and wittiest people on the internet - all of whom practice exemplary personal hygiene.