Sunday, December 6, 2009

I don't feel like writing a self referential title today.

If you were to be dropped on a deserted island with one fully functioning room of your home (barring two way communication devices because, you know, you'd just use them to be rescued and screw up the entire premise of the thing, just like the rocket scientists who announce that if a genie granted them one wish they'd use it to ask for unlimited wishes. Cute if they're about five years old, but otherwise okay, you're very clever. Absolutely no fun at all, but very clever. I'm going to go play with my stupid, fun friends now. Bye bye, Einstein.), which room would you choose?

Smart money's on the kitchen, right? What with all it's food preservation and preparation devices and clean water on tap and whatnot.

Of course if you've got a basement or a garage loaded with tools, that might provide an even greater survival advantage. Dinner's not just going to come running and hop in the fridge if you call "Here piggy piggy piggy!" invitingly enough. You're definitely going to have to kill it, and it's probably not going to stand still while you attempt whacking it to death with a spatula, either. It might be better to focus your resources on those that can help you devise pig securing and dispatching devices than on something to help you preserve bacon that never comes when you call it. Tools are most likely the first thing you're going to need.

And yes, building something to escape from the island is perfectly admissible under the rules of hypothetical fair play, on the grounds that it does not qualify as being an easy out. The jury's not in yet on whether the inflatable pool toys you have stored next to the Christmas decorations or canoe you bought at a garage sale and have had sitting there propped up and ready to patch for going on three years now will be admissible, though. We'll just go with nuh-uh for now.

Pragmatically speaking it seems evident that the best criteria for selecting a room would be the prevalence of useful gadgets and/or appliances in it. Wait a minute, though. What about the living room, or the den, or whatever other room it is you have your tv and/or stereo and/or specially designed for the purpose of this hypothetical situation reception-only internet equipped computer in? The island's deserted, remember. That means nobody to talk to. Not even a volley ball with Tom Hanks' hand print on it. No perspective on anything ever except your own. Humans evolved without refrigerators and socket wrenches, but not without each other. The argument could certainly be made that seeing and/or hearing other human beings could contribute more to a person in isolation's overall well being more than a well appointed food preparation area or stocked workshop could. It's a tough call.

And still, I'd pick the bathroom. Ever been bitten by a mosquito when you're trying to pee?

By the way, I do really like this website:

http://www.thesitsgirls.com/


and especially all the great people I've been meeting there, so this is to say a sincere Merry Sitsmas to all those who know what on earth I'm talking about!

46 comments:

TheFrogBag said...

Hmm, I was thinking maybe the bathroom too. You'd have fresh water... I'm not much of a cook anyway so I'd probably be living off raw seaweed no matter what. I also don't own many tools that aren't crafting related so escape is probably out. Besides, a lack of proper hygiene will kill you faster than anything else, and I'd hate to be without a toothbrush.

blueviolet said...

This is just more than I can possibly contemplate at this late hour. My eyes are barely open. Thus, I choose the bedroom! :)

Robyn said...

I agree. There is no substitute for the flushing toilet, and I could not possibly construct one.

Thanks for dropping by my blog. I think I've found a twin sense of humor here.

Looking forward to more.

Cheers,
Robyn

Eva Gallant said...

My first thought was the bathroom, but I'd make sure my laptop was in there first.

Eternally Distracted said...

I have no idea which room I'd pick but figure this is going to be a question that will bug me for the rest of the day! I'll get back to you :0)

@eloh said...

Ha, when I started reading I wanted my toilet and shower...would I have time to drag in a couple shootin' irons? That would make it perfect... just perfect.

Paula said...

I was also thinking the bathroom. Or bedroom. Nothing quite like your own bed :D

Lady Fi said...

Humans evovled without bathrooms too - that's why we have the great outdoors.

I'd choose the living room with my family still in it...

Sarah Lulu said...

Hello and yes I think I have!!!

Jeanne said...

Kitchen. Mine has not only spatulas, but knives. And string. And a TV (small and crappy, but a TV nonetheless).

Also my phone, which wouldn't count if it were a two-way communication device, but since it seems to work only to let people call me, yak without ever so much as drawing a breath, and then hanging up, I say it counts.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot -- I have an award for you over at the Chronicles!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I'm with blueviolet!!

And is there electricity, gas and water hooked up on your deserted island???

Toni said...

My bedroom. Screw the water, life wouldn't worth living without my Blu-ray player, flat screen TV and ipod lol.

Menopausal New Mom said...

I'm with BlueViolet, I'll chose the bedroom, nothing better than a comfortable mattress and a full wardrobe with shoes and accessories to make you feel right at home, Oh yeah, we have an attached bathroom, can I take that too?

f1trey said...

I want gilligans islands hut!

Brian Miller said...

i would take my library...at least that way i would be entertained....and have plenty to start a fire with as i reread them...the smoke would keep the mosquitos away...hopefully. smiles.

Pearl said...

Have I been bitten by a mosquito whilst peeing?!

I live in Minnesota -- of course I have!

:-)

Pearl

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Does it count that my bedroom has a bathroom and therefore I pick my bedroom?

injaynesworld said...

Definitely the bathroom. That's where all my makeup is and I'm nothing if not vain. Oh, and I keep fashion magazines in there, too. So yes, deserted island, fashion magazines, makeup, did I mention toothbrush? Yep, definitely the bathroom.

kys said...

I'll go with bedroom. I'm assuming that the attached bath will come along, too.

Fire Byrd said...

As long as I had my bed with freshly laundered white sheets I wouldn't care!
xx

e said...

The answer to your last question is yes, and let me say that getting bitten by a mosquito while trying to pee is only rivaled by having an active hermit crab down the front of one's bathing suit at the beach...

I'm with you about the bathroom...

JenJen said...

Does the master suite count as ONE room?
Cuz then, I'm golden.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Damn mosquitos. I been bit on my who-ha before... evil little bastards!

Michael said...

Hmmmmmmm... I couldn't survive without any room missing, so I'll pick the bedroom. I might as well die comfortable, right?

Michael.
Do you hate it too?
"If you're going through Hell, keep going."
Holy Holism!

gayle said...

Can't say I have been bitten by a mosquito..you know where. I'd say the living room..couches, tv, books,blankets...
I need to lose weight

secret agent woman said...

I don't suppose I could put a fridge and a microwave in the den?

Traci said...

I would definitely pick the bathroom! First off, I am a terrible digger and I wouldn't want to be alone on an island surrounded in poo. Secondly, and maybe more importantly, I am addicted to baths! Some people drink or smoke or well, whatever floats their boats, but I have to have hot baths. And if I am going to be alone, I would need my drug of choice.
:-)

Ron said...

This is too too funny, because the whole time I'm reading this post I was going to say that I'd pick the BATHROOM too!

And why? Because all I need is a big bathtub and some bubble bath and I'm HAPPY.

*oh, yeah...and a glass of red wine too!

GREAT post!

linlah said...

Maybe if you hit the pig hard enough in just the right place on his neck, you know like 007 does.

thishumanscondition said...

Merry SITSmas! :)

dogimo said...

I would pick the kitchen closet, but then I'd take the hot water heater and use it to ask for unlimited wishes.

tattytiara said...

Haha, well as long as all of your wishes relate to water temperature that would probably work out pretty well!

Buckeroomama said...

For me, it'd probably my kitchen... with its knives, scissors and junk!

BLOGitse said...

Merry SITSmas
from Cairo!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I know what you're talking about (re: the sits thing, anyway).

Yeah, I'd go with the bathroom, cuz that's where I keep my TV, satelite-ready internet accessible laptop, Netflix DVDs, Hostess chocolate cupcake stash and sex toys anyway.

Also? Merry SITSmas, since you know what I'm talking about.

- Margaret

Heather of the EO said...

Bathroom! :)

Merry Sitmas to you too!

Organic Meatbag said...

I have to say I'd stick with the kitchen...I can piss in the sink and take a dump down the trash compactor...

lakeviewer said...

Hi. Thanks for visiting me. If you like making bread, panettone is just a variation. Good meeting you.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Merry SITSmas!!!

sandy said...

Have a very Merry SITSmas!

Joy said...

Wishing you a very merry SITSmas!

carma said...

the bathroom - for sure! Merry SITS-mas!

Kat @ measuring my life in l-o-v-e said...

Merry SITSmas!!!

Chrisy said...

Merry SITSmas from my choice room, which by the way would be the bathroom.

Ces said...

Heheh! The bathroom, very convient but you are in a deserted island and you have the entire island to yourself. I hope there is indoor plumbing too otherwise - hahahah! I don't know what I will choose. I'd probably choose my family room. It has everything - chocolates on the wine refrigerator and a giant can of mixed nuts but most of all it has books. Finally, I can read all I want!

Andi said...

Sorry I am late, but I am making my way through the entire SITSmas list, I want to visit everyone to wish everyone happy holidays! So Merry SITSmas!

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