Monday, March 8, 2010

Title is conveniently located directly above the blog entry.

My head is filled to brimming with the pudding of distraction. Realtors dance through my dreams at night like three ring binder winged fairies, sprinkling my eyes with hyperbole dust. Days are filled organizing and sorting and throwing away and regretting and digging through garbage and retrieving and ending in a lot less accomplished than energy expended. It's all very giddy and surreal and awesome and terrifying.

Yeah. I'm having a good time. Complacency kills brain cells. Nothing like a good jolt of sheer economic terror to keep the think muscles limber and supple. I really do live for this kind of nonsense.

Got the mortgage pre-approved on Friday and just had the market evaluation an hour ago. The numbers actually do crunch quite agreeably. So far. Knock on wood. Unless I've made a horrible mistake that I'm completely overlooking and aren't going to discover until I'm fully committed and will have to work three jobs - one of them partially naked - until I die just to make the minimum monthly payments. Barring that, though, so far so good. Looks like the next thing to do now is buy a house, since I sure ain't going to try selling this place with a half bald sixteen year old dog taking regular squats in the living room. First we go away then the new flooring comes in. That is the appropriate order of things. It's bad enough Andy the wonder cat kept leaping for the realtor's back every time the poor guy leaned over to look at anything. Always fun to watch someone try to ingratiate themselves to you through gritted teeth, but kitty really needs to learn that what I think is cute can be what someone else thinks is grounds for caticide.

Tomorrow's house was built in 1916 and features 1.5 bathrooms. A spare toilet is the most wonderful thing a house can have, second only of course to a primary toilet. Just one of those things that it's just nice not to have to take chances with in life. Wednesday's house was built in 1920 and features pretty blue siding. Yeah, that's a stretch for a sales pitch, but the bottom line is it's boring but looks like it's in pretty good shape for a pretty good price. I'm staying way way way within my financial comfort zone on this deal, and after all I'm not looking for a house to die in. I'm looking for a house to get me the hell out of the suburbs. Anything that can rescue me from the beige brain rotting blight of planned communityville is inherently awesome. Pretty blue siding is just a great big juicy cherry on top.

I'll let you know how it goes!

56 comments:

Hayley Egan said...

Awesome!

Lo said...

Hi....just want you to know I love your blog and your style. You are very good....Please don't stop.

Buckeroomama said...

Good luck. Hope everything will go smoothly and that you won't get any nasty surprises.

Erika said...

Good Luck with the house hunt! And boy are you right about toilets.

TheFrogBag said...

Wishing you the very best luck! I've been expecting someone to come tell me that a mistake has been made for a full year now... We moved into our first mortgage, I mean house, last March. Aside from the sheer terror of owing this much money I love it! We looked at a few 20's houses but ended up with what I'm convinced is an Atomic Ranch style abode (please don't disillusion me, okay?) And I love our bonus bathroom!

mo.stoneskin said...

Partially naked is better than fully naked.

Right?

nick said...

Having moved house last year, I know just how frustrating house-hunting can be. So many potential homes that aren't quite what you want, however much you try to convince yourself it's THE ONE. Then after you've plodded around umpteen houses and are in total despair, suddenly you hit gold.

But hopefully your search will be a bit quicker. And I don't think you need worry about dead brain cells, there seems to be plenty of activity up top.

Magpie said...

Good luck with your house search! It's very exciting!

We've been in our 1920s house for 10 years now and even though it needs maintenance from time to time it is solid and well-built. I love old houses.

Have fun!

My name is PJ. said...

Ace, this is so exciting!!! And I love the phrase "pudding of distraction!"

I don't know how old you are, but if I could just weigh in on the stairs in a new house situation. Try to find something with a bedroom (or a room that could be a bedroom) and at least a powder room on the ground floor.

Stairs become the enemy when you get older or when you are recovering from an injury. Too many stair coming up to the front door can be terrible too...unless you have the space for a handicap ramp.

Jazz said...

Anything that can rescue me from the beige brain rotting blight of planned communityville is inherently awesome.

This is the best sentence evah!

Berowne said...

"Unless I've made a horrible mistake that I'm completely overlooking and aren't going to discover until I'm fully committed and will have to work three jobs - one of them partially naked - until I die ."

Er -- which parts would be naked? :-)

BLOGitse said...

Good luck!
Can't wait what happens...

We start packing on next week - moving out of Egypt at the end of the month.
In a way it's good to move - you get rid off all kinds of unnecessary stuff.
I'm not very good because normally I think, I might need this one day.
But I'm learning.
We don't need a lot to survive and have a good life!

Have a great day!

BLOGitse

Brian Miller said...

nice. congrats on the house...3 jobs? yikes!

Liza said...

"A spare toilet is the most wonderful thing a house can have"
YES!!!
I love looking at houses.
Good luck.

Eva Gallant said...

Good luck! House hunting is exciting!

Raelene said...

So exciting! Good luck!! :)

Where the Fur Flies said...

My first house only had the one mandatory toilet. Then that toilet broke, and I spent a week running to the mall (conveniently two blocks away) when I had to go. That convinced me of the necessity for at least 1 1/2 baths in a house.

I'm living vicariously through you. House shopping is exciting!

Where the Fur Flies said...

My first house only had the one mandatory toilet. Then that toilet broke, and I spent a week running to the mall (conveniently two blocks away) when I had to go. That convinced me of the necessity for at least 1 1/2 baths in a house.

I'm living vicariously through you. House shopping is exciting!

Sarah said...

Looking forward to many updates on the house hunt!
Hope you find something with tons of character.

Rebecca said...

Pretty blue siding is exactly what I wanted when we picked out siding last week for our house....we picked a yellowish color....and green shutters....I'll be posting an 'after' photo on my page as soon as it's done, but rain, rain, rain...all week long. It'll get put up eventually, right.....Back to the blue...I so wanted a pretty pastel blue, but my husband didn't agree.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oooooo. I want pictures!
Now, I'm all excited!

secret agent woman said...

Yay! This was me two years ago. It's an exhilerating time.

Conquer The Monkey said...

exciting good luck!!!!!!!

linlah said...

Um yeah that half naked thing would wear a person out after a while. Hope the numbers are crunched correctly.

Megan said...

Depends on what shade of blue...

blognut said...

Good luck on the hunt! Be patient - you'll know the perfect house for you when you see it.

:)

nursemyra said...

Does the pudding of distraction come in a chocolate flavour?

Shrinky said...

Oooooh, exciting, heady and terrifying times, eh? Just loved this post, made me chuckle out loud. Lots of luck hon, it'll all be worth it in the end!

Lady Fi said...

Blue siding or an extra toilet? And half a bedroom... so many choices! Good luck.

mythopolis said...

You have such a way with words, and you are so, so, funny! Hope things work out with the house. I moved to the middle of nowhere about 6 years ago and am so happy with my anonymous existence!! Good luck!!

Robin said...

Ohhhh...very exciting....I love "beige brain rotting blight of planned communityville"..hey that's where I live...so true...but the blue siding will remedy that,for sure....and the 1/2 toilet......Im looking forward to the updates..Good luck with the move...!

Erin said...

Good luck! The house hunt thing is very exciting (but was also very stressful for me). I hope all goes well and will keep my fingers crossed!

Big Pissy said...

Hope it all goes well!

and you are SO right about a second toilet. Or as many as possible, in my opinion. :)

Deanna said...

Hope you find the perfect place. I love old homes but they sure can be a lot of work!

Kathy Sprinkle said...

When we were looking for a house I insisted on at least 1.5 baths. My husband kept saying "we can always add one later" but I wasn't willing to wait a second longer. That man LIVES in the bathroom and after 3 years of holding it until he was finally done I was done! AHHH as I type this, he is monopolizing one now and a completely empty one is waiting for my slightest need... guess I'll have some more coffee now!

Kathy Sprinkle said...

SOOO Excited for you! Look forward to seeing where you land!

Cathryn said...

We have the mandatory 1.5 toilets...and it's a pisser when they both go out at the same time! LOL Good luck with your house hunting!

carma said...

Hope it all works out and that no caticide is committed in the process. I'm soooo jealous that you are escaping the burbs. I said to my husband that it is probably best to either live totally rural where no one can get on your nerves, or immersed in the city; this half-way in between suburb stuff can def lead to brain rot. Just look at my blog ;-)

Alexis AKA MOM said...

yeah it sounds like at least you're finding some great ones! New carpet sounds wonderful :).

I died laughing at the kitty attacking your agent!

Mrsblogalot said...

Good luck! How exciting!!!!!!!

Pauline said...

sounds exciting! love these words: "hyperbole dust." can't wait to hear how it all turns out.

otin said...

I loved the sheer economic terror line. I laughed when I read that!

I hate it when a house is too old. I like modern stuff.

JoeyRes said...

Mmm, the doggies "regular squats" could be a problem to a potential buyer. I learned that by watching HGTV!

Good luck with your search!

Martha's Menagerie said...

Good luck! :-)

gayle said...

Good luck....it will be both fun and hard!

Unknown Mami said...

This comment was assembled in China.

So many people suffer from Beige, I'm glad you are moving because it's contagious.

bernthis said...

I think it's great. Getting a house, moving, dying, it's all scary. Especially that dying part but the good news there is we don't know about it. ha!

linnykins said...

The sentence near the end, referring to cherries, just made me want a biiig bowl of cherries to munch on... mmm, cherries..!

And the pudding of distraction.. hehe, so many food references! Good luck with the house hunting/moving.

Mrsbear said...

You can never have too many toilets.

Good luck with the hunt, it's the most exciting part, second only to ripping up 40 year old green shag. ;)

buffalodick said...

I've lived in my house for 29 years..paid for, and I'm not leaving!

Jenners said...

Selling a house is a nightmare.
Buying a house is a nightmare.
Moving into a house is a nightmare.
Cleaning a house is a nightmare.

Makes me wonder why we do it sometimes!

I know ... because it is too cold/hot to sleep outside all the time ... plus bugs.

Rosidah Abidin said...

Good luck on the house hunt! I hope there will be something you like soon. Have a great weekend :)

Nessa said...

Do you explain somewhere why you write your blog post titles the way you do? They kill me.

Flash 55 - Avian Love

Gibby said...

House hunting can be so fun, usually!
Good luck!!

Sarah P said...

Coffee. You win! Email me at nakedcupcakes at gmail dot com, so I can send you your gift card. :D Do you like emoticons? No? :(

kanishk said...

Good luck. Hope everything will go smoothly and that you won't get any nasty surprises.
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