Here are some things to get everybody started, but feel free to improvise:
- Was that freckle there yesterday? Is it even really a freckle? Are you sure?
- You know you're forgetting something you were supposed to do. What was it again? Oh yeah that's right. You can't remember. And that's why it's not getting done. And you know what that means! Oh yeah, you don't. Because you can't remember. Something is going to happen and you have no idea what and it's your fault and you can't stop it.
- You feel okay now, but there's really no way to know how healthy the last fly that landed on you was, now is there?
- Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Do you know absolutely every law there is? No, you don't. Remember that the next time you hear sirens.
- Right now, somewhere in your mouth, there's a statistically probable chance a cavity is forming.
- How disappointed would the six year old you be with the progress you've made on the things you were definitely going to do as an adult? Have you been to the moon even once yet? What about the rest of your famous rock band? You do have a famous rock band, don't you?
- Oh my god! What time is it?
- Maybe instead of keeping yourself safe from it walking germs on you with it's dirty little feet, the last time you smashed a bug you actually released a tiny cloud of very potent killer pathogens into the atmosphere that are right now getting right to work on the important business of killing us all.
- Computers do not, generally speaking, spontaneously blow up and kill people. That doesn't mean it's impossible, that just means we have no way to see it coming.
- Blue ice.
- We all know our own bodies pretty well, sure, but few of us really know the actual, clinical difference between a normal bump and a dead in three months bump. Bet you don't.
- Something you own is lost. You don't know it yet, because you don't need it right now. When you do need it, though, it won't be there.
- You can't prove aliens from another planet aren't stealing your brain waves. Therefor it's logically possible they are. Hey, you need those brain waves!
- Jayne Martin just Twittered "I think people are following me." while I was writing that last bullet point. The odds of that being a coincidence are not good, my friends.
On the other hand, I used to cuddle that bear when I was sick, and it's been stored in a dark, warm trunk. Maybe I'll just cuddle a jug of peroxide and a bag of cotton balls instead.